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Email Marketing Services Uk Question

Ruth asks…

Is this marketing letter (and English in it) OK?

Dear,

Can you afford to miss out on 75% of your potential custom? *

Congratulations on your new business.

•Have you managed to build a customer base yet?
•Do you have enough customers?

At our company name; we provide low cost websites to businesses in Derby & the surrounding area.

Having a website will save you money on marketing literature. For a very affordable fee (£230), we can get you in front of your target market, at a lower cost than the alternative marketing methods available (we offer a non-quibble money back guarantee to back this up). We are very affordable compared to our local competition (please google them too).

• Unique web design from £230 (includes everything to get you up and running).
• A Free Consultation at a time that suits you – we’ll come to you!
• A small, friendly, local team
• No quibble money back guarantee

One of our latest customers said “I was very impressed by the quality of service and customer care, all carried out professionally and promptly keeping me informed at every step of the way. They listened to my personal requirements and met these.” –company name

To take advantage of our free, no obligation consultation, just call us on 0845 000 0000 (local call rates) or email us at info@ourcompany.co.uk .

Kind Regards,

Matthew Pollard
www.ourcompany.co.uk

P.S. The £230 website offer is only valid until June the 6th 2011.

* BIA/Kelsey 201

scottparat answers:

If a business received this letter they would put it straight into the bin. Companies do like to save money but you are making it sound as though you are too desperate for their business and giving too much babble of information they wont even read. Companies want to know how you can make their life easier buy giving them better opportunities and getting more work done from their workers under less time and how they can make more profit. You should introduce your product for what it can do compared to the one they currently use and how it is better for them but not by how it is cheaper because they think cheaper is not as reliable. I have worked in marketing for over 20 years. Good Luck.

Mary asks…

Is this marketing letter (and English in it) OK?

Dear,

Can you afford to miss out on 75% of your potential custom? *

Congratulations on your new business. Have you managed to build a customer base yet? Don’t you have enough customers? At our company name; we provide low cost websites to businesses in Derby & the surrounding area.

Having a website will save you money on marketing literature. For a very affordable fee (£230), we can get you in front of your target market; at a lower cost than the alternative marketing methods available (we offer a non-quibble money back guarantee to back this up). We are very affordable compared to our local competition (please google them too).

•Unique web design from £230 (includes everything to get you up and running).
•A Free Consultation at a time that suits you – we’ll come to you!
•A small, friendly, local team
•No quibble money back guarantee

One of our latest customers said “I was very impressed by our the quality of service and customer care, all carried out professionally and promptly keeping me informed at every step of the way. They listened to my personal requirements and met these.” –company name

To take advantage of our free, no obligation consultation, just call us on 0845 000 0000 (local call rates) or email us at info@ourcompany.co.uk .

Kind Regards,

Matthew Pollard
www.ourcompany.co.uk

P.S. The £230 website offer is only valid until June the 6th 2011.

* BIA/Kelsey 2010

scottparat answers:

Look the content look fine but the beginning is not very catchy. You need to make changes for the first and second paragraph. Make it more catchy to improve its stopping power.

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